In Your Arms
by Sage1982
Summary: Lauren shows up on Bo's doorstep...takes place at end of Episode 2X20


**Author's Notes**: I laughed so hard during 2X20, when Bo was sooo ready to sleep with Lauren, only to find out the doctor ONLY wanted to sleep in her arms. But the scene that followed afterwards was nice and sweet. I wondered what more would they have said while they were lying together on the bed.

Her blonde hair felt like silk as it slid through my fingers. _Strawberries_. Yes, that was the scent that radiated from her hair. I smiled at the thought of how she'd rambled on about how she'd done her hair before coming over. I took in a deep breathe, and enhaled... Lauren. She was lying in my arms and we were on my bed.

Not exactly how I pictured we would end up here when Lauren had shown up on my doorstep. At first I had been relieved to see her, considering the coldness blasted my way that last time we'd seen each other. Granted I somewhat deserved it, after all I had killed Nadia, the love of her life. Had it been the right thing to do? I don't know. But at the time it seemed like the only option. When she had turned her knife toward Lauren, instinct had kicked in and the next thing I know she was lying on the floor grasping for her last breathe. I closed my eyes and tried to banish the image from my thoughts. I blamed the Garuda for the pain that Lauren was going through at the lost of Nadia. But in truth, I blamed myself as well. I always would.

Had Lauren been anyone other than Lauren, I pretty sure she wouldn't be here right now. Somehow the doctor in her always seemed to take over and push her beyond the pain. Maybe she'd come to talk about the Garuda and what he'd probably learned from looking through Nadia's eyes. She'd been angry and defensive with me earlier for questioning her about that about that very same topic. I had foolishly thought that she'd hold no resentment towards me. I'd been wrong. It was only natural. Maybe she'd had a chance to think, and had a change of heart.

And yes something had changed alright. The doorway was practically lit up with a sexual aura that nearly blinded me as she walked passed me. It really threw me for a loop. Again I had been expecting the same coldness I'm been treated to earlier. But instead she stood before me and I swear I started to melt instantly on the spot under her gaze. She'd always had that affect on me. We stared at each other for a long moment, the urge to take her my arms right then and there was almost to much to bare. Over my racing heartbeat, I managed to hear her say something about wanting a drink. And not being able to get my thoughts straight from this new developement, I'd babbled about a bottle being under my bed. Geez, I can be such a total spaz sometimes. _Real smooth, Bo. _I heard in Kensi's voice in my head.

I raced upstairs and headed straight towards the bathroom to check myself in the mirror. "She's totatlly hot for me. Right?" I asked my reflection as I fluffed my hair. "I'm not imagining that, right?" I asked again, almost expecting an answer. "But why? Earlier she could barely look at me. You think she's had a breakdown, and has gone all skitso or something?" Realizing how silly I was being I headed toward Kenzi's room. Surely she would have some alcohol lying around in her room. Sure enough, there was a bottle of tequila on her dresser. I'm sure she wouldn't mind me borrowing it, I know she would mind if I didn't replace it later. I raced towards the stairs, but stopped abuptly to compose myself. I took a deep breathe and walked back down. Back down to Lauren.

To my surprise and giddy delight, the sexual energy was still burning bright as I sat across from her. I poured her a shot and listened to her as she talked about really needing this. This? Was she talking about the drink? Was she talking about time with me? But I had no idea? But damn she looked beautiful, despite how nervous she was. Even with the radiating colors surrounding her, I could still see the weight of the world on her shoulders. But she carried it all like she always did. I poured her another drink. I could tell she needed another drink. As I did, I mentioned how life hadn't been kind to her. And how I thought she was the strongest person I'd ever met. I hadn't meant to smile while saying the last part. I chastised myself for sounding like a lovesick teenager or an adoring fan, but it was what it was. I'd come to the conclusion long ago that I was both when it came to Lauren. I tried to mask my feelings, but from time to time they bubbled to the surface and spilled out in all kinds of ways.

A long moment passed as we stared in each other's eyes. I was going to move closer, but she abruptly said something about her hair. I found that kinda off topic, but I remarked that it looked great. Of course she always looked great. I really like the blue top she was wearing. I wonder what color the bra was underneath it. I wondered was it adorned with soft satin or was it silk.

She said thank you in an ackward way that only she could make sexy and adorable. Then she started to talk. I mean she started to talk alot. Sometimes Lauren could be a walking Google Search. I could barely keep up with the barage of words until I made out the phrase "sex". I perked up a bit until I heard the word "grief". _Wait. Is Lauren telling me that she wants to sleep with me, but she's smart enough to know its only because she's grieving. _I try not to let my facial expression betray my thoughts. This relevation had certainly put a damper on things. I didn't want Lauren to want me because she was grieving. Geesh! Suddenly, her showing up on my doorstep all a blazed in sexual desire now made sense. And to think my arrogant and happy ass thought it was due to my lascivious swagger! Wow! My ego just took a hit. Why couldn't she have just walked in wearing nothing but a treach coat and high heels? She wouldn't have had to say a word. I know we were working on our trust issues, and she'd been very forth coming with me on many things as of late. But this grieft sex thing she could have kept to her self. I would have been happy just being let in on the sex part! I know I know, I can be a pig sometimes. But after all I am a succubus!

And I needed a drink, like the whole bottle. But before I could do just that, I can still hear Lauren talking. She says something about how having sex will take the pain and make it better. I wanted to object to her rationalization before ushering her out of my apartment. So I could go take a cold shower, like I often did after these close encounters of the Lauren kind. But then I was saw the slight smile playing on her lips, and I was pulled back in all over again.

My libido kicked up into an even higher gear and I found myself wondering would it be so bad to let Lauren use me. Not that on some level she hadn't done it before. I know the whole Vex situation wasn't the same. But she had in fact kinda used sex to distract me in order to keep me out of trouble. In a strange way, she had been trying to help me. And in this case I would kinda be helping her as well. Right? I mean I could give into a night of passion to help a friend. Right? I could push my bruised ego aside, and let Lauren have my body. Isn't that what Dyson and others had done for me when I needed to heal. True, the doctor didn't have a gaping wounds or injuries, but she was indeed hurting. I could return the favor this one time. Its not like I wouldn't be getting something out of it. I would be getting Lauren...

My mouth pratically started to water at the thought of a naked Lauren beneath me. Or better yet, a naked Lauren on top of me. As flashes of these thoughts pass through my mind, I admit to her that being intimate could help.

Her whirl wind of words continue. Something about a someone having a heart attack and pain in the arm. Honestly, I'm only half listening at this point. I'm concentrating on watching her lips move, and wondering what it would be like to taste them. It seemed like it had been forever since I had done so. Her movements have almost become slow motion to me and find myself smiling. I also find myself needing to say something, since she'd said so much "I love it when you totally geek out." Granted not my best come on line, but again it was what it was. And it was true. Geeked out Lauren was so sexy. Kinda like the librarian fantasy. I swear if the woman owned a pair of glasses, I would totally be undone.

"Can I sleep with you?" She asked with tone reminding me of bank teller asking to see my id.

I barely hesitate. "Yes." Damn it, I have have no will power. I have wonder if Lauren is secretely fae and holding out on me. There seems to be an energy around her that pulls me and renders me weak in so many ways.

She doesn't hesitate either. "I just mean sleep. In your arms."

My smile drops like an elevator with the clarification of her request. "Yeah exactly." I manage to say as if she and I are on the same wavelength. As if I wasn't just seconds ago imagining what it would be like pull that top I like much off her before kissing my way down her chest to her stomach. My thoughts are interrupted as she starts talking about the Garuda and Nadia. And I felt bad for feeling let down about the turn of events. Here I was about to sulk about not having a booty call, when she was obviously in much pain and reaching out to me for comfort. She had afterall just lost the love of her life.

I assure her that she's always welcome in my home. She smiled that Lauren smile of hers. The light around her had dimmed a bit, but I don't mind because her smile more than makes up for it.

I offer her my hand and we both stand up. We intertwine our fingers and without another word I lead her upstairs to my bedroom. I can't help but be reminded of the last time we'd taken this route together. It had been in a frenzy of kisses and undress before making love on the very same bed where we were headed. I remember thinking then that maybe, just maybe we'd have a chance at something real. That was before Nadia and the tragic saga that endured afterwards.

She stops short of the bed. "Bo, if I am asking too much here..." She offers.

"No, it's totally cool." I lie. Well its not really a lie. Its not asking too much, but it IS asking alot. But in all honestly, I'd realized a long time ago that I'd do anything for this woman. I give her hand a squeeze before letting it go. "Its your lucky day." I sit on the bed and start to take off my boots. "I actually made up the bed."

She laughed a little. "Meaning you fell asleep on the couch last night."

"Exactly. Do you want something to sleep in?"

Lauren looks down at herself. "I suppose jeans are not the best attire for sleeping."

I leave the bed in search of clothing. Unfortunately it had been Kenzi's week NOT to do laundry again, so it was slim pickings. But I found something that looked like it kinda matched and would do from a pile of clothes. "Here ya go." I tossed them to her before I went in search of something for myself. When I turned, she was standing in the room half dressed.

"Sorry." I say, as I quickly turn around to give her privacy. Her is embroidered with lace.

"No need to apologize. This is your bedroom, and we're adults." I feel a hand on my shoulder. "It's ok.". She said gently with a a slight nudge turning me towards her. "Bo, really it is."

I nod and begin to shrug off my jacket. Then slowly I reach for the hem of my shirt and pull it over my head. I try not to ogle her as she slips out of her jeans into the pajama bottoms. She has a runner's body. Sleek, lean, and toned in all the right places. I can remember what it felt like to touch that body...

"Smells like you." I heard her say, pulling me from my less than pure thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Your shirt."

"Oh, sorry about..."

"No, its nice." She smiled a bit and pulls the grey tee over her head. Her blond hair is in disarray, and I decide that I like tousled Laura. Ready for bed Lauren and wearing my clothes.

I continue getting undressed. I can feel her eyes on me as I do so and I try not to respond. After all, we're only going to actually sleep. Nothing more. When I'm done I see she's just standing there, as if she doesn't know what to do next. Her brown eyes are weary. "When was the last time you've slept?"

"It hurts to close my eyes. Figuratively that is. I see things. I remember things..." Her voice cracks a bit and her eyes water.

"I'm sorry, Lauren. If I could take it back I would." I come closer. "But when she reached for you...I couldn't let anything happen to you."

She nods her head. "I understand Bo. I don't blame you."

"It's ok if you do." Its amazing what's acceptable in the fae world. _Killing _someone was so easily forgiven or given as a punishment sometimes regardless of the circumstances. At times it seemed as if "death" was a foreign concept to a group of people that for the most part...well lived forever. Perhaps if I had been raised in my true heritage I would be a little immune to these situations. But its my human upbringing that allowed me to feel the weight of it all. And Lauren was after all human. Yet, here she stood not blaming me for Nadia's death. In the end I know, it hadn't really been Nadia when I plunged my dagger into her body. But it had been Nadia grasping for her last breathe as Lauren watched her die. Lauren had been trapped in the fae world for so long that perhaps some of their rules were becoming her own. Or perhaps it was the doctor part of her that was able to rationalize and digest the "facts" regardless of her grief. Again, she was strongest person I knew.

"If I blamed you for any of this, would I be here now?" I stand silent. She cocks her head to the side. "Why do you think I'm here Bo?"

I hunched. "You needed someone." I still couldn't process her choosing me for comfort. Which was strange considering I didn't have an issue with her choosing me for sex earlier. Funny how the mind works.

I can tell she's disappointed in my answer. Somehow I've failed the test. And a look of frustration settles across her features. "You think I'm here because I have no one else, don't you? If so you couldn't be further from the truth. Bo, I'm here because I _have_ you. I'm here because I need _you_?" She reaches out and cups my cheek. I lean into the the gesture. "Don't you know that by now?" Her hands feel so warm. Or was I growing hotter because of her touch. The fact that Lauren just said needs me just feeds the fire.

"Even with all that's happened?"

"Yes."

"I don't know how you do it?".

She brows furrow a bit and then she begins to cry. "Oh, Lauren." I reach for her and she collaspes in my arms. "Let it out." I tell her as our embrace becomes tighter. I feel her shake and her sobs get louder. Her tears feel hot as against my throat, and her breathe even hotter. Time goes by. I'm not sure if its seconds or minutes. But we say nothing, and I try to be the rock she needs. Once she seems calmer, her arms move up my back and rest palms down on my shoulder blades. "Wanna go to sleep now?" I whisper into her hair. At this point, I'm gently massaging back of her neck.

"Uh Huh." I hear through her sniffles.

I lead her to the bed, and she climbs on first. I hesitate just a bit, not sure if I should climb over her but she looks at me...waiting for me to join her. As delicately as I can I get on the bed and move over her. My breathe catches as my chest grazes her. I think hers did the same. Once I'm settled agaist the pillows, she instantly cuddles to me and lays her head on my chest. I curl my arms around her.

Another silence, so long that I suspect she's asleep. But then she starts to about Lachlan and the Garuda. I can't miss the hint of bitterness in her tone. She talks of how now may be the perfect time for her to escape from all of this. I'm happy to hear this and would do anything to help her. Lauren has lost so much in her years of servitude. Then she goes on to say she's tired of the fae world controlling her life and just wants to leave. A tinge of panic runs through me. She wants to leave. She wants to leave the fae world behind. Aren't I a part of this world? Does Lauren want to leave me too?

"For good..." she adds.

A part of me wants to beg her not to even consider the idea! But that's the selfishness in me speaking. Lauren's life has been ruined through and through by the fae. They cursed her girlfriend. Basically kept her as a slave, all the while dangling a cure for Nadia over her head. Then after five years, she gets Nadia back...to only have to her die at the works of the fae. I would have left long ago. But not Lauren. She's here still willing to help fight. To help her friends. To help me. "Whatever you decide. Whatever happens. We are in this together." Is how I respond. I have no idea what I am promising, but I'm know my words are promising something.

She lifts her head and looks up at me. I want to say more. So much more. But I merely gaze back at her. She nods slightly and then nestles her head back against my chest. Her hold around my waist, well more around my ribcage is tighter. I continue to stroke her hair. I mention something about Dyson and him being the champion and hopefully this thing with the Garuda will come to and end.

"We found something." She responds.

"About the Garuda?"

"No, you and I." She finally says, I wait for her to continue. She moves off my chest to lay beside me. She rests on a pillow and turns towards me. I instantly miss the feel of her against me. "Despite every crazy thing going on around us. We found something Bo." She smiled a little.

The change of subject has thrown me for a loop a bit. "Yes, we did." I turn on my side too. Our positions remind me of a scene from a movie where couples are intimately talking in bed. This is the part I always missed after previous times in bed togther. It feels good. Pillow talk with Lauren.

"And I want it."

"You do?" My pulse begins to race, just when it took me forever to get calm again.

"I think I always have." She reached out and pushed a lock of hair behind my ear.

"Me too." I admit. "So much."

"But the timing..."

"Always shitty, I know. And now isn't any better."

"I can't ask you to wait for me..."

"Yes, yes you can." I said quickly. Too quickly, I tend to jump the gun alot when it comes to Lauren. I need to fix it up. "But you don't have to. I said we are in this together Lauren. And I meant it. I'll be here. I will always be here."

"You will?"

"However you need me."

She scooted closer to me. There was a silent communication between us, almost as if our eyes, bodies and senses could say it all. I felt absolutely no need to speak.

Lauren's face came closer, her eyes closing as it did. "Thank you." She whispers, her breathe caressing me lips. If I move in just an inch, we'd touch. I know I could push us over the edge in this moment. It wouldn't take much.

"Umm, ready for bed?" I ask, my voice throaty and deep. I'm trying to do the right thing. I promised I'd wait...

She smiles a bit. "Yes." She kisses me on the forehead. I open my arms. She nods and moves into them. "Good Night, Bo."

"Goodnight Lauren."


End file.
